Counting Down!

A week from now I will be headed to Florida to leave for my cruise to the Bahamas!!!!!

SO ready and excited to relax in the beautiful sun with an amazing friend from Purdue and just be. :)

Done and....Exhausted!

Well we are finally done moving Grandma--she has a lot of work to do to situate her stuff but everything is at the lakehouse. It was by far a more emotionally exhausting weekend than I had prepared for--maybe because I was there for so long, maybe because I've been emotionally involved over the whole course of this, who knows... I just have to keep resolving myself to the fact that Grandma is probably never going to be the same woman that she was 6 months ago and that's ok. Memory loss is just such a hard thing to deal with as a family because it's one of those things that you can't just 'fix'. There were lots of fortunate parts about this weekend but the most unfortunate is that starting Thursday morning I noticed that I had the worst cough ever--a bunch of my kiddos had it last week and I would joke that they had the plague because I had lots of kids out and for a long time now I understand. The cough kept getting worse and worse and I gradually would lose my voice esp. at the most inopportune times like trying to talk on the phone to the cellphone company for Grandma. I didn't feel too hot but didn't really care........now I have no voice--zero. nada. And feel like a Mac truck hit me--I'm sucking down nutrition hoping that the morning will be better or I guess I could use sign language at work tomorrow. :)

A post a few weeks ago indicated that I might be interested in still doing the Winona Lake triathlon.....well I'm doing it! But as a team--yay no swimming! One of my sisters track team members wants to do the swimming, my sister wants to run, and I'm going to bike. So as soon as I finish up training for the mini then I'll have that to train for. But that's a LOT easier for me to train for.

Only 2 weeks till the Bahamas--yay!!!

Day One Down!

Oh my---I have been working on moving Grandma back to her lakehouse since Thursday evening. I'm already exhausted physically and emotionally and the real moving day is technically tomorrow. Fortunately, I have everything moved back to the lake except for the furniture--that was a huge JOB!!! And have all those lovely things of moving down--the rest of the accounts terminated, got her a new driver's lisc., etc. etc. The most unfortunate part of today is that we discovered that her days of driving are probably over....that will be a huge transition for all of us. Her because it's taking away more of her freedom and us because we will have to go get her all the time. Fortunately my parents live like 25 minutes from her.....I live an hour away but we'll figure it out. I took her to the doctor today and he had a fit when he found out that she had been driving. Since she has the signs of dementia it's now on her health records and if she would get in an accident she would get sued..... That was a hard conversation for her to hear but I was glad to be there with her when she heard it otherwise she might not follow through. Fortunately, at the lakehouse there are a lot of places that she can walk and do things with that community of people and fortunately she can still walk well. As soon as the doctor told her that the rest of the day was not very good because she shut down on me and didn't want to do anything for herself--that's my biggest fear that she will fall back into a place of dependency using her memory problems as a crutch instead of fighting for it. I had to remind myself all day today though how blessed we are to still have her here and that we are back to this point--she will never be the woman that I used to know and I have to work through that and accept that for the rest of her life that we will always be taking care of her instead of her taking care of us. :) I kept reminding myself today that this experience undoubtedly will make me a better mother one day because it has taught me so much about caring for someone selflessly even when an 83 year old acts like a 6 year old in the grocery store........

Suggestions

Does anyone have a really good devotional that they love?? I'm in a pit with good devotionals.......I can't seem to find one right now that I totally love.

What a fun weekend!

This weekend was so sporadic but turned out to be so fun! Friday night I did have a school function till 9:00 but then got to spend some good time with some girlfriends and really catch up on some things going on in our lives. They are the type of friends that you can tell exactly what is going on in your life and they are totally there for you 100%....I love that! Saturday morning I ran 10 miles at running club--it was as good as running 10 miles can be and then came back home to find my dad here ready to help me with some household projects that needed to be done. So after putting a quilt rack up, installing a new bath towel bar, and toliet paper reel, some new mini blinds, and fixing a clock that somehow got broke (I think the painters dropped it) I had those things done. For me to do that it would have been an all day ordeal but my dad is so handy that it took an hour. That evening I went out to dinner with some friends who are from here originally but don't reside here anymore. They were both here to visit their parents and it was SO good to see them and catch up on what's going on in their lives as we are all going through definite seasons of change! After that I took one of my friends and met up with some others to go karaoke....it was so much fun! Loved it! :) I've been before but never with these friends and it was great! This morning was normal church activities but afterwards I made a trip down to my parents. Yesterday when I was running I knew that I was to call my mom immediately after and so I went down to have lunch with my parents and then talked with my mom the rest of the afternoon/early evening. It was sooo good. With all of our focus, attention, and energy on Grandma that's all we ever talk about and coordinating schedules and plans to make sure everything gets done. Usually once that all gets hashed out we're out of time to talk about other things. We both have a lot going on in our lives right now and it was so neat because there were some things that I didn't tell her about till today and vice versa but we both already knew about it and we're prepared for it because the Lord had been laying those things on each of our hearts for a while. That happens a lot to the two of us, which I love. I love that I have a friendship with my mom and that we can confide in each other on situations even when they are situations that we don't have figured out.

I definitely have that feeling that 'a season of change is coming'. I've had it for a long time now but it's getting more and more intense. I know what some of the change is, have an idea of what some of the other change could be, and then after talking with my mom realized that there could be more change yet that I'm not really ready for but God's will is perfect and I love that. One thing that is changing is the Lord is kind of in the process of reshuffling my commitments. I am someone who serves in a lot of different respects because I was raised like that but in the past few months I have known that the door is closing on some of those things because their sesason is over. Today I realized that perhaps one big reason that the door is closing on those things is that He wants me to serve my family more. That I am going to need to free up some time here soon obviously because grad school is starting but also for the needs of Grandma and for my parents. I think right now one of the biggest ways I can serve my parents is by going down once a week with work shoes on and helping to take care of their property. They have a LOT of property--way too much and they can't keep up with it because of their jobs and they are getting older (I don't like that one!) :). I had my dad make a list today of things that need done once we take care of getting Grandma moved and they are all huge projects. It's funny how we feel like we need to be doing certain serving opportunities to make a big difference but sometimes I wonder if just normal things aren't just as helpful. I also think God is going to do something with the fact that I know and am burdened right now for a lot of people who are sick with cancer. I have several friends and family friends who are very ill right now and I wonder what God is going to do with that. It's just a big process of opening and shutting doors!

This is the week that we move Grandma back home! So it's totally going to be a chaotic week.....I leave to go down right after work on Thursday and stay through Sunday. Hopefully though the transition is smooth and good. I'm looking forward to spending some good time with her alone on Friday before family gets there........she's been through so much in the past few months and has a lot to process through.

Close to home....

My heart has gone out to everyone affected by the intense flooding this week--check out this article and you will have a better idea of what some people are going through. This road that collapsed is two roads behind my parents home and is the road where the kids died in the flooding last year. I went to high school with everyone that was involved in this accident and can't imagine what they are going through as a result. I have not been down to see the results of the flooding yet because most of the state roads are still impassable if you only have a car but my dad said that it's so much worse than last year and nearly every county road in the southern end of the county is closed and washed away. My parents lost most of their road and their driveway is gone as a result. My dad had so many scary stories the day that it happened...as he was driving to work the morning of the flooding a state road was so flooded that the fire dept. couldn't get through and a semi was stuck in it.....it took my dad several hours to get to work because there was no way out because all the roads were so flooded. I have been getting emails and phone calls all day to help sandbag here and in multiple other towns--my heart so goes out to everyone that has been affected.

Rain, Rain, Rain!

We have had the weirdest weather this week!!!!! I don't like it one bit---Sunday a tornado hit a town near us and affected many families. Now it's raining and won't seem to stop meaning flooding. A little over a year ago in January 2008 we had flooding that was severe actually so severe that we had to dismiss school early one day and today reminded me of that day a lot. Last year there was a family who lives near my parents whose children died in the flooding and I thought about that family a lot today wondering what kind of emotions this must stir up in them. I was thinking about it more and more after my dad called and said that all the roads were flooding out by them and that even the state roads were becoming impassable and he couldn't get his truck through them. I remember when we flooded in '08 it was right before I moved into my house and I was driving to my parents house one night after prayer group and it was nearly midnight on a Wednesday night and I couldn't find a way home because all the roads were impassable......I don't miss those days of driving but my heart does go out when the weather gets like this. I strongly maintain that there is a spiritual connection between intense rain like this and what God is trying to teach us--how I wish I knew exactly what it is!

Needless to say, I wonder if we'll delay school in the morning........a number of schools already are delayed.

Recent Loves.....

1.) I've been way more into a reading kick even more than normal the past few weeks. In one afternoon (I had taken half a sick day last Friday because I had a fever) I read the entire book Twilight. I am excited to read the next book New Moon but need to wait a few days because those books are so addicting and I don't have time this week. :)
2.) I go in and out of Karen Kingsbury kicks......I'm in one right now though! I just finished the book Sunset and just started the book This Side of Heaven.
3.) Our church is doing a series called Faith and Doubt so I read the book. At first, I wasn't a fan of the book but the more I got into it I did like it......it's not a 'feel good' book by any means but it's good.
4.) Audio books! I've been driving a LOT lately so I checked out an audio book (19 CD's long) at the public library--I'm all about free things right now too!--and love it!
5.) The movie Fireproof--I rented it for FREE last week and wasn't sure how I would feel about it in general but I loved it and it gave me a lot of really good things to think about even though I'm not married yet but helped remind me yet again of very specific ways to pray for my heart and the heart of whomever God has for me.
6.) I'm going to start going to a book club with my friend (who is the world's most avid reader!) in Fort Wayne in a few weeks that I'm really excited about. They are starting the book entitled Jimmy that is about how a boy with special needs sees the world. I have a heart for kiddos like this. I think it will be good for me to read and discuss it because it will give me a better perspective of how the kiddos that I have in my room see the world as I have multiples with special needs and specifically next year I'm likely getting a kiddo with severe special needs.
7.) For the fact that spring break is in FOUR WEEKS! :) I am going on a cruise with my best friend from Purdue to the Bahamas on a Carnival cruise line. I'm beyond excited and can't believe how quickly it will be here!! Now I just need to get certain parts of my body in better shape so I can go buy some new swim suits.....I despise shopping for swim suits!
8.) Tanning! I'm not a regular tanner by any means but before trips I have to....let's just say I have trips that turned out awful because I burned so badly and turned into a lobster. If I tan it helps the situation immensely and for whatever reason makes me feel better in general.
9.) That my parents taught me how to negotiate well! I spent over two hours on the phone tonight dealing with a ridiculous situation trying to reactivate an account for Grandma. It's almost impossible anymore to get a real person on the phone and to get someone to speak to you when you are not that person even with authorization.......you basically have to sign over your life to do it. In the process of this ridiculous situation I cut my Grandma's phone bill in half and it's twice as large now....go me!
10.) Training for the Indy Mini--it's in two months! My training has been going really well--going to running club in C. City has made a world of difference. It's tough running with them because they are insanely FAST and for a lot of them this is their lives---training for events but it's good accountability that I'm glad I have. This week is a 9 mile run, which I'm not concerned about because I ran a 9 last week on my own. I've toyed with the idea of signing up again for the Winona Lake triathlon, which I did for two years in a row. I wish I could can the swimming part though.....blah--the rest is cake after that! At least this year if I did it I wouldn't have a wedding right after it like I have for the past two years!

Worst Pickup Lines Ever....

So I have always had a knack for attracting the most interesting individuals.......this week proved no differently. Someone whom I have not spoken to in years and I don't really know well emailed me this week and started out like this, "So I was sitting in my crib and mapquested the distance from my city to yours...." HAHAHA

In a face to face conversation with an individual he kept continually offering to come visit my classroom to make sure my kiddos were being well behaved. I had situations like this with 4 guys this week.....but none of them are even remotely close to being worth my time--how is it that I can attract guys that aren't worth my energy but can't seem to find the ones that are worth my time right now.

What a Fine Line...

Two weeks from today my family and I are moving my grandma BACK to her lakehouse--I couldn't be more excited for her! It's quite an ordeal of how this happened and included us having to pull it off the market but we know this is where God wants her and where she needs to be. In the past few weeks we have been making her pack up her current house. She called yesterday and informed me that she had lots packed and was ready to take some stuff to the lake so I went this afternoon but of course when I got there she didn't want to go anymore....but I took her anyway. :) Healthwise she is doing so much better but mentally we're not even close to there yet. A lot of it is that she wants to remember things from a long time ago vs. current because that's when Grandad was alive and such. She has totally reverted to being childlike and stayed in this funk....it's to the point that I find myself so annoyed with it because she doesn't want to do anything for herself and wants someone to take care of everything. When I went to get her car out of the garage this afternoon I couldn't get to it because she had been throwing her trash into Kroger's bags and throwing it into the garage and not tying them up. The entire side of the garage was covered in kleenex everywhere. ........9 Hefty Garbage bags full. I counted as I made her help me clean it up so I could back her car out. I struggle with the fine line of needing to help her because she is 83 years old and legitly needs help but she is playing the system because she knows that if she pretends that she can't do things that we will continue to do it for her. My immediate family has tried everything and is now at the point that if it doesn't get done then that's the only way she will learn--we feel like she's a child again.

This evening I was in the process of dealing with deactivating accounts at her current home and reactivating accounts at the lakehouse. For one I needed a credit card and she handed me her driver's lisc., then tried giving me her AARP card, and has no idea where her credit card went...needless to say I paid the bill. After going through her records I discovered that she paid a lofty fee (over $500) to cancel a contract and I was able to recoup the money tonight and get it credited back to her account that I reactivated for Dish TV and she had no concept of how much money I got back for her......she doesn't have to pay her TV bill for one year now.

I ended up putting in for a personal day the day before because we have serious work to do. I'm hoping to get all her boxes and clothes moved to the lake that day and help her get stuff like her kitchen set back up and have people coming in all day to set things up like the cable, internet, etc. That way when the Uhaul comes on the Saturday it's just furniture.

I desire to be a good grandchild to her and serve her in the way that she needs but struggle with the fact that I can't do it all for her.....even though that would be way easier sometimes. But when I do that then she calls everytime the trash needs taken out and once she's back to the lake she will be over an hour away. Life's a cycle---I hope I have good grandchildren to take care of me one day! :)

ISTEP Meltdown...

ISTEP Meltdown is the phrase that the state of Indiana has coined this week for our current test that the students are taking. By mid Monday morning I was melting down right with the kids wondering where I missed the boat this year in teaching my kids, at lunch every teacher in the building was having that same panic episode, and by afternoon emails were flooding in from every where telling us not to panic that this test is exceptionally difficult. In one particular email it stated that absence levels are at an all time high state wide because students are so upset because of the test. I can account to that as I have a multitude of absences today and students go home sick that are never ever sick and the timing of their situations was impeccable. In particular I have never seen a math test so incredibly difficult and have never seen more panic in my kiddos eyes but there is nothing I can do for them at that point. Hopefully the multiple choice test in April is much better!

I am all about accountability, data, and progress but sometimes I wonder if this is the most effective way to do that?

Free Hair Cuts!

Salon Rouge in Mishawaka is offering FREE hair cuts on Monday evenings at 6:00 as part of their employee training program. My sister used to get her hair cut there and they do an amazing job and typically cost around $50 to have your hair cut there. I just called and it's totally legit! If you don't live in Mishawaka you would have gas money involved but my sister lives less than a mile from that salon so it gives me a reason to go visit her and a free hair cut! :)

Gail.ology :)

Here's a little bitty lesson in Gail.ology. One little lesson is guaranteed to make you smarter. It's been proven!

FOOD.OLOGY.

What is your salad dressing of choice??
Fat Free French

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Cheesecake Factory, Cerulean, or Club Soda....it's a toss up. :)

What food could you eat everyday for two weeks and not get sick of?
Fiber One Granola Bars and FRUIT! :)

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Chicken and Pineapples

What do you like to put on your toast?
I can't tell you the last time I ate toast.......but usually peanut butter.

Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

.TECHNOLOGY.

How many televisions are in your house?
1

Do you have a laptop?
Yes


.BIOLOGY.

Are you right - handed or left- handed?
Lefty! :)

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Never

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My work bag.....it's like lifting weights daily!

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Never ever

CRAPOLOGY.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Absolutely not!

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
As much as I despised my name growing up because it wasn't 'popular' I would never change it.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $ 1000?
Today?? Yes! I just finished paying the painters and got my grad school bill today and the mortgage and car insurance are due this week too......it's that or a money tree!

. DUMBOLOGY.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Oh my--way too many! Around 15ish......I LOVE cute flip flops!

Last time you had a run- in with the cops???
Two years ago--got pulled over because the light that shines onto my license plate burned up.....who knew!
Last person you talked to?
The cashier at Quizno's....getting my FREE sub!
Last person you hugged?
A kiddo in my class--ISTEP was rough today and she was sick.
.FAVORITOLOGY.

Season?
Hands down--summer!

Holiday?
Christmas!

Day of the week?
Friday

Month?
December

. CURRENTOLOGY.

Missing anyone?
Yes--several people....

Mood?
Good--just ran 8 miles!

What are you listening to?
The TV

Watching?
Friends

. RANDOMOLOGY.

First place you went this morning?
The Y then school

What's the last movie you saw?
He's Just Not That Into You

Do you smile often?
All the time even when I'm not really happy

Do you always answer your phone?
Nope

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Love my eyes

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I don't really frequent Sonic very often

Do you own a digital camera?
Yep

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes--they were a wedding favor--funny I know!

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I always get money for my birthday because it's right after Christmas and then pay bills or put it toward my annual spring break trip--exciting I know!
Can you do push ups?
Yes but I prefer not to

Can you do a chin up?
I haven't done a chin up since elementary school and have no intention of starting again!

Does the future make you nervous or excited?
A little of both--but mostly excited!
Do you have any saved texts?
I save all of them till my phone deletes them all

Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes two....neither were my fault.

Do you have an accent?
??

What is the last song to make you cry?
Beautiful by Bethany Dillon--It always makes me cry.

Plans tonight?
Grading, reading, and going to bed.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Multiple times!

Have you ever been given roses ?
Yep

Current hate right now?
How much of a planner I am......

Met someone who changed your life?
Lots of people!!

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes--there are memories I would love to experience again and situations that I wish would have gone differently.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes

Do you have any tattoos/ piercings?
Ears

Does anyone love you?
Yes

Would you be a pirate?
??

What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is playing on my Ipod

Ever had someone sing to you?
Yes--mostly kids but guys too...it's sweet!
Do you like to cuddle?
Yes

Have you held hands with anyone today?
No
Who was the last person you took a picture of?
My sister

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Beach Boys, Celine Dion, Leann Rimes
Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
It's a really good combination of both!

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Nope....I rarely drink OJ though--water for me!

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
My weird random situations that happen to me. People were laughing at me yesterday for the guy who didn't want me to carry my own trashcan up my driveway because he felt that women shouldn't do manual labor.

My amazing memory!

Have you ever ridden an elephant?
Yes
Do you like to play Scrabble?
Only with Grandma

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
Years and years ago....I don't even own jelly

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sleeping

What Would It Look Like If.....

What Would It Look Like If.....

You went a whole day, week, month, year without gossiping about other people. No it never starts out with bad intentions...you hear a story that is pretty interesting and you tell two of your friends, and those two friends tell two of their friends but the story changes a little bit. Pretty soon it's like a game of telephone gone bad. Think about the people that you are chatting about without having hard core facts..they are so hurt and betrayed because of the power of your tongue. We all do it--what would it look like for us to become more intentional about holding our tongue, taking our shoes off and putting the other persons shoes on regardless of the situation before you speak. Surely we have better things to discuss, right?

Every day we truly, wholeheartedly sought out who the Lord wanted us to be that day. I don't mean just a 39 second prayer about it I mean truly surrendering to who HE wants you to be. How He wants you to act, talk, work, etc. I have been thinking a lot lately because of some various real life situations about how we aren't always seeking out what the Lord wants us to be. We need to daily ask the Lord how He sees us and to confirm for us that our identity lies in Him and not the things of this world. I have also been thinking about how we take on things in our lives that maybe God never really desired for us to do......maybe some of our plates need cleaned off a little so that God can rejuvenate us and reteach us about who we are in Him.

We stopped asking people about what they don't have and focusing on what they do have. Multiple women have sat in my home lately and cried about their inability to have children of their own and how every time they turn around people are asking them when they are going to bear children and what they are waiting on and how that drives that wedge deeper into their hearts. Being single I am constantly bombarded with the question of when I'm going to find Mr. Right....is that really the cashier's position to ask that question to me--yes this really happened. We all have something in our lives that we long for so much but that God isn't ready to give us because it's not our time.......let's focus on what these people do have and not on what they don't have. We are all broken people and we all want something we can't have.....