Christmas Break....

It's been an interesting start to vacation so far with crazy weather and arctic temps! I have received so many text messages/emails from friends who live in warmer climates like the Carolinas, Florida, and Texas reminding me that it's not cold there....I was tempted to go visit immediately! :) This always happens to me on break but I am someone who really loves being busy and going to work and then I find myself missing it. This morning after I ran I really was ready to go to work.....that's not normal I'm aware. :) Usually the first week of break is fine but the second week I have done everything under the sun I could dream of. I think this time is just different because of the family stuff going on. All my time, energy, and emotions are being poured into a woman's life who doesn't want to live anymore but clearly her time is not up. The past few days in particular have been a rollercoaster ride with her......she has been so high/low and her mind has not been right at all. One day she had no idea where she was or why she was there...yesterday I bought a ton of stuff that she wanted and then she decided she didn't want it. You just have to laugh at those situations that's for sure. It's just me today with her....my uncle who was going to come lives in Michigan and they are currently under a blizzard warning. My mom has a retirement party to attend and needs some emotional time for herself today. It' s usually ok with other people. On average the past few days we have had 3-5 people with her daily. It's typically not ok by yourself though....I think hospitals like that are on a different time zone because time goes very slowly there and it's no wonder that people don't like going to hospitals like this. She keeps changing her mind about her intentions of what to do after we can get her out of there....I'm sure I will get a different story today in fact. I almost need a score card.....:) This morning while I was running 5 miles on the treadmill I started to think about how she would love to be able to walk half a mile right now. It's a constant reminder to me to be so grateful for what I have and not for what I don't have. It's so easy in this society to focus on stuff we need but really as long as I have a body that can function properly I'm set. It really resets your priorities/focus.

On other random notes, I downloaded an audio book for Grandma--the Shack. I have been listening to it on my computer and think this may be my new favorite way of keeping up with books. I love to read but always feel like I should be doing a hundred other things. Yesterday I listened to over half the book while being "Martha Stewart" and doing all the things I never have time to do like make Christmas cookies for all my neighbors......I had to draw the line after a while because I have a lot of neighbors. Listening to it has been really interesting because I've been picking up on different things this time. One thing that really hit me is the main character was surprised about God's appearance and His comment was that it didn't really matter what He looked like because the main character wouldn't care anymore after getting to know Him well. That really hit me hard because it reminded me of how much time I spend making sure that I look 'good'. How much time I spend exercising, running, money I spend on clothes, makeup, etc. Really it shouldn't matter because people should be captivated by who I am and not what I look like. I'm not saying I am going to give up exercising and sit around and eat Twinkies all day (I don't even like foods like that...) :) but it does remind me that I have to find a proper balance. The Lord has really been helping me to find a new balance in that area of my life for about 6 months now and I have come a long long ways in that time but I wouldn't say that I am any expert in that area that's for sure. The book is helping me to really redefine my concept of God and it reminds me of how relational the Lord is. I know those things...but I need reminded sometimes.